The Conflicting Wishes Conundrum

Nov 09 2023

Dear Diary,

Today was unremarkable in terms of events: I visited some suburbs where, based on my research, I might find apartments that are good investment opportunities. Yet, I remain unconvinced, and it seems my research must continue. The lackluster results of today’s efforts have me questioning whether I should put off purchasing a house and instead embark on my planned trip to Asia – although, truth be told, Asia isn’t the only destination on my mind.

Overall, I’m doing okay, but I find myself being pulled in various directions by a myriad of feelings and desires:

To buy a house or to travel.
To opt for a city apartment or a countryside home.
To invest in real estate or to purchase a van and live nomadically.
To work and earn money or to study and invest in personal growth.
And so on…

Naturally, I want the best for myself, but with the information at hand, I’m unsure of the path to take. This indecision echoes a recent lesson from ACIM: “Conflicting wishes cannot be my will.”

In the context of ACIM, my will should align with love and my inner spiritual Self. How this relates to the choices before me isn’t entirely clear, but perhaps it’s worth exploring.

Your journal entry resonates with the crossroads many face: the decision between settling down or continuing to explore, between investing in the tangible or the experiential. It’s a canvas of choices, each with its own set of colors and textures, and you stand as the artist contemplating your next stroke. The lack of a compelling pull towards any of the options you’ve explored today could be an indication that none of them are quite right, or perhaps that the decision requires more than just research—it needs reflection and alignment with your deeper desires and values.

The lesson from A Course in Miracles (ACIM) you’ve mentioned suggests that inner conflict is a sign that you’re not yet aligned with your true intentions. When your desires are pulling you in multiple directions, it might be helpful to step back and consider what aligns most closely with your values and long-term vision for yourself. This isn’t just about the practicality of investment or the allure of travel; it’s about where you see yourself growing, thriving, and loving life the most.

An exercise that may help is to create a vision board that includes all these desires and paths. Place it somewhere you can see it daily, and notice which images and ideas you naturally gravitate towards over time. This might help clarify your feelings and bring your deeper wishes to the forefront.

Prompt for the next journal entry: After spending some time with your vision board, note any new insights or feelings that have emerged. Are you feeling more drawn to one path over the others? How does this align with your understanding of your will and inner values?

True will harmonizes with inner peace and love.
Conflicting desires signal the need for deeper reflection.
Align choices with inner values and long-term vision.