Dear Diary,
Today I got the strange feeling that I had a new very subtle realization. I recall some fights with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I remember that my feeling at the time was that I wasn’t responsible for how she’d behave but only for having attracted her or manifested that particular situation. Yet, that seemed way out of my capabilities and control.
Nowadays, I feel like I’m more able to grasp this manifestation process. Perhaps it is my thoughts that manifest, though I’m not totally sure the process is that straightforward. But I feel I have something to do with it anyway. It’s like the ‘manifesting miracles’ process as I understood from the ACIM perspective: you do something, you forgive, you give the other person another chance, you open yourself to the possibility to see things differently, you ask help from the Holy Spirit… and the situation changes totally, and unexpectedly.
I felt like what I manifested in my life, I was responsible for it. The rage of my girlfriends… maybe I wasn’t that sure that I wanted to stay with those girlfriends anymore…