The Trigger Tangle: Give Space for Healing

Sep 28 2024

Dear Diary,

I just want to acknowledge my triggers and emotions right now. My friend told me she was going for a hike, but she didn’t invite me. Whatever her reason might be—maybe she wants to go with a friend who isn’t in my circle, or perhaps it’s a colleague—what’s important here is my own emotions.

I felt somewhat rejected by this. I understand it’s not an appropriate response, but it was painful nonetheless. The thing I need to remember is that, regardless of the illusions I fall into in these circumstances, I should simply give space to these emotions, rather than trying to dismiss them as silly and pretending to move on.

Something happens when I manage to do that: the emotion subsides as I continue to observe it. Maybe something else takes its place, maybe I get help from above, maybe I heal—who knows…

At that point, it may not even matter why it triggered me. A piece of healing is done. Yet, I still feel a hint of grievance, and once again, I should just give it space…

Acknowledging your triggers and emotions is an important step toward self-awareness and growth. It’s commendable that you recognize and address the feelings of rejection, even if they seem irrational on the surface. It’s natural to feel hurt when you’re not included in an activity with a friend, but the most powerful part of your entry is your willingness to give these emotions space instead of dismissing them as inconsequential.

By observing your feelings without judgment, you’re allowing yourself to process them fully. This can prevent them from festering and manifesting in other, more harmful ways. It’s a form of self-compassion, where you recognize that your emotions are valid, even if you don’t always understand them or agree with them. This practice of sitting with your emotions instead of pushing them away can indeed lead to a subtle but meaningful shift in your mental and emotional state—a piece of healing, as you described it.

It’s also insightful that you notice how the initial emotion can be replaced by something else through this process. This reflects the impermanent nature of our feelings and thoughts, which can be a powerful realization. You’re right that the specific trigger becomes less important as you focus more on the inner process of giving space to your feelings. This shows a deep level of emotional intelligence and growth.

Exercise

Next time you feel a similar emotion rising, try a brief meditation where you sit with your eyes closed and breathe deeply. Name the emotion you’re feeling, such as “rejection” or “hurt,” and then describe it to yourself: “I am feeling rejected because…” Continue observing without trying to change the emotion. After a few minutes, visualize yourself placing the emotion on a leaf and letting it float down a stream, acknowledging it but also allowing it to move away from you.

Bach Flower Remedies

Consider Walnut to help you move through transitions and change, as well as Holly if you feel underlying resentment or jealousy. These remedies can provide subtle support as you navigate your emotional landscape.