The Judgment Juxtaposition

Jul 20 2024

Dear Diary,

In today’s meditation, I had an interesting insight. Based on the teachings of the school of thought I’m following, I’m not inclined anymore to indulge my mind in judging and criticizing other people; they are my brothers, after all.

Yet, recalling a quick interaction I had yesterday, I noticed some form of defensiveness from the other person. This defensiveness unconsciously tried to influence me into validating the other person, which, in turn, would also influence my life. It was as though my brother was trying to persuade me that the choice he made was “the best” in that context. He might have done this out of insecurity or to attract some admiration or whatever. However, his attempt to persuade me could have influenced my actions, leading me to make the same choice he did.

In that situation, I reckon the quickest response to understand that something was off was indeed judgment. So now, I can see judgment from a slightly different perspective—not as something I “need” to avoid (with the consequence that I would judge myself if I failed to avoid judgment) but just as a signal that something was simply off for me.

Everybody has their journey and function, and one choice cannot be good for everyone. Judgment, even if it superficially seems like judging another person, might just be a signal that some input received from the other person might not be good for me.

Your meditation has led you to a nuanced understanding of judgment, particularly in how it functions in interpersonal dynamics. It’s an evolution from a blanket avoidance of judgment to recognizing its potential utility as a signal. This shift from seeing judgment solely as a negative to a possible indicator of misalignment is a significant step in honing your emotional and social intelligence.

Understanding that judgment can be a tool rather than just a trait to be suppressed allows for a more balanced approach to interactions. It acknowledges that while striving to see others as “brothers” and reducing unnecessary criticism is noble, there are times when judgment arises as a natural defense mechanism to indicate that something doesn’t align with your values or needs. This can prevent undue influence from others’ actions or decisions on your own choices, preserving your autonomy.

To further explore this insight, you might find it beneficial to reflect on instances where judgment has served you well, helping you maintain boundaries or make decisions more aligned with your personal truth. Recognizing these instances can help reduce any residual guilt or self-criticism about judging others and help you discern when it’s a protective rather than punitive response.

Exercise: Practice mindfulness during interactions by noting when judgments arise and what specifically triggers them. Later, reflect on these triggers to determine if they were protective insights or unnecessary criticisms. This can help fine-tune your ability to use judgment constructively.

Next journal prompt: Reflect on how recognizing the role of judgment has influenced your recent interactions. Have you noticed a shift in how you respond to others’ opinions and attempts to influence you? How has this understanding affected your relationships and decision-making?

Judgment can be a tool rather than just a trait to be suppressed
Every individual’s choices are unique to their journey; one size does not fit all.
It’s essential to discern when judgment protects your interests.
Judgment can serve as a signal, not just a sentiment.